Death seeks me please...

Thursday, February 09, 2006

9th february: just eaten my lunch-cum-breakfast, but.. still very hungry le!! ah!! i so hungry recently tat my friends asked me whether i'm expecting is it. lolz~ =P can't help it.. really very hungry..=(

anyway, today had my first presentation of the new semester! on bipolar de. i felt tat it's not a very good one, but those classmates whom i asked said ok. hmm.. maybe they dun wanna break my heart or is it really fine? watever~ it's over! ahhaahah~ >=D by the way, after hearing jolyn's calss took photos for graduation, my class took ours today. we had so much fun sia! everyone squeezed together, den i stood on a chair to let people see me [though i'm tall enough.. lolz~].. it's supposed to be informal, but after a few shots, the result: all stiff, forced smiles, sleepy eyes, no actions [not even a peace sign], blah~ blah~ but overall, it's fun. hee~ =)

my butt so big!! so sianz of looking at it. lolz~ dun ask me why i typed these sentence cos.. it's a fact! ... ... crap! i dun make sense. lolz~ anyway, i kept looking at my hip today. flat butt, with wide hip.. ah~!! wat can be worse than this! hopefully.. when i grow up [in fact, i'm grown up ke.. hahaha~], my butt will be smaller. ... ... ... ok.. i admit.. i'm cheating myself! it's my iliac crest tat's big! another word, it's bones we are talking about! how to make it smaller other than smashing the bones, file it.. aiyoz~ so sad!

by the way.. dun know whether i've said this before, but i felt blessed yesterday and today! haha~ thanks to God's mercy and grace! recently did something quite evil.. i did confessed to God. He forgiven me le ba.. tat's why i in very good mood recently! hahaha~ and everything i do went on smoothly. thank you, Father!

people, be it you are christians or not, when you felt real gulity, or sad, or lost, damn depressed, hopleless, or any other negative feelings in you, talk to God or Lord Jesus. trust me.. after you confess and ask for forgiveness [if u know you did something >=/], or told Him about your feelings and thoughts, ask for His will to be done, and you'll feel great! ahahah~ sometime even betta, God came to your rescue before you asked Him for help! like to share this.

once, in year one i think. i was sooo..~ depressed.. cos i felt tat no one liked me, and no one will ever love me so much tat he will sacrifice himself for me. so i cried over tat matter, and nearly.. [i meant it.. nearly..] jumpped down from my flat. but tat nite [the nite i decided to jump], i received a sms from my friend [forgot who le.. lolz~]. it said something like, do you feel lost? depressed? do you know tat you're loved? do you know tat there's someone who gives up His life for you cos He really loves you? i really loves you. sender: Jesus Christ.

tell you.. when i saw tat sms, it really touched me tat i cried so hard on it. ever since, i decided to baptise and really be a christian. it's pretty nice to know tat, even though you are nobody [even to yourself, you feel tat you sux, you are the worst~], you are somebody to HIm. He's Son of God. imagine yourself holding a place in the heart of someone so.. great, mercy, gentle.. kind and passionate.. the best part, no matter how busy He is, He'll hear you. He'll will come at the right time tat will really touched you. He'll always be there for you, be it as an advisor, listener, partner. nice rite? hee~ =)

-ah_xun faced death at 10:48 AM