Death seeks me please...

Thursday, January 31, 2008

31st january: 30th's my second nite shift. neva thought tat nite shift can be so.. DISGUSTING!! STUPID NC AZIAH! I HATE YOU!! YEA.. I AGREED TAT U ARE FAT AND BIG, BUT I'M NOT BLIND NOT TO NOTICE YOU!! IDIOT YOU FOR SCOLDING ME BLIND, LAZY AND NOT OBSERVANT!! I REALLY HATE YOU!! DIDN'T SEE YOU MEANS DIDN'T SEE YOU!! THINK YOU ARE THE ONE WHO NEEDED COUSELLING FOR YOUR BAD ATTITUDE!! I DUN INTEND TO CRY IN FRONT OF YOU. I DUN INTEND TO LET YOU WIN!! ANYMORE.. I MEAN IT.. ANYMORE UNTRUE THINGS YOU SAY BOUT ME, I'LL MAKE A POLICE REPORT FOR PERSONAL INSULT!! TRY ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE YOU!!

-ah_xun faced death at 12:20 AM

Friday, July 13, 2007

13th july: life have neva been worse. i hate to live. stop commanding me to talk when i dun wan to. sorry to say this, but this is my life. i wish no interference, especially from you who acted as if you really care. i knew you wan to know wat happen so tat you can tell other people tat you know me better. i had nothing to say to you.
i hate you. why didn't you come when i needed you. why didn't you speak, to stop me when i really wan to end this pathetic life. i only wan your comfort. tat's wat i ask for. but you refuse to give me. you took happiness away from me. i learnt not to wish things from you for you only give it to people tat you like. i know you dun love me as much for i'm not your precious son. doesn't matter. i'm disappointed in you. really, i am.

-ah_xun faced death at 2:46 PM

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

26th september: it's not a good day today. felt pretty tired for no reasons. being having day-off for the past two days. today's the third and the last day.. have to face stress and torture for the next few eight days for my next day-off.. sigh~ heck..

anyway, watch 'john tucker must die' with violet on sunday. quite a hilarious one. not too bad for people who got cheated before.. at least me and quack had a good laugh. ^^ tell you.. my face was stern for the last few days. couldn't smile or laugh for real. maybe cos i'm stressed up. they actually threw me, alone with one junior. couldn't believe my eyes when i first saw the roster. but thank God tat izzaty's a competent junior. she's cheerful and sweet. pretty too. thank God for her once again tat she's my junior for the past few days. she's really nice ya know.. cos of my incompetency, she didn't go for her break. felt quite bad deep within. when i apologized to her. she replied, 'neva mind la~ it's ok~! =)' so sweet~~~ but i'm really, really felt ... ... bad. T_<

i'm intending to watch 'stay alive' alone next wed. should be quite nice frightenig myself ba.. hahahaha~ ^^

-ah_xun faced death at 9:55 AM

Sunday, September 17, 2006

17th september: i must apologize to those whom i hurt unknowingly. sorry to have cause any harm or displeasure to you. please let me know who are you if you feel tat you need an explaination about why i did tat to you. kindly remind me about the date and time, the incident, wat you and i had been discussing earlier. thank you. sorry for all the inconvience caused.

ok. back to blogging. recently, i'm addicted to watch movie by myself. just watched 'little man' alone on monday. supposed to watch it with my friend on sunday, but i was so tired from work tat i fell asleep while waiting for the time to pass. unfortunately, my friend was upset and irritated by me. when she called, i told her why i'm overslept. she said it's ok. after five minutes, i received a msg from her saying, 'actually i'm not ok. in fact, i'm quite irritated of you.' knowing tat she felt tat i overslept on purpose, i deleted her msg, and did not reply to it. am i at fault?

though so, the next day, i went to the cinema to watch the show by myself. enjoyed it very much. hahaha~ ^^ after a few days, tat friend called me. she aked me if i'm free to go out. i told her frankly tat i dun have the mood. den she told me, 'ok! den you have fun playing your playstation!' [using a forced 'cheerful' voice] and hanged. to me, i felt tat she was sarcastic. after a few minutes she called again. asking me if i wanna go out the following day. i told her tat i'm noon shift. guessed wat she reply me? ... ... quite tough huh? she told me the same thing, 'ok! have fun playing your playstation!'

if you happened to read this, dun be offended. i'm just saying how i felt. need to discuss bout this matter? sure. contact me.

been quite tired of life, but still need to go on.. cos i dun have the courage to end it now. nevatheless, if i really do end this life, dun think God will ever accept me into His arms of comfort, love and warmth.. Father, to tell You the truth.. i really feel like ending this pathetic life of mine several times.. You knew it.. but for the sake of Your promise tat at the end of life, those who won the battle will enjoy the rewards.. to stay in a place where You will wipe away all tears from our eyes. where sins are neva to be found. where joy fills every corner of our hearts. Father, for tat promise, i'm willing to wait. to endure. to remain alive. Father, i thank you for Geraldine who you send to tell me, or rather, remind me of this promise. please bless her greatly. may she be a great servant of Yours one day.

-ah_xun faced death at 11:36 PM

Saturday, July 22, 2006

22nd july: hey! long time no blog! you all must be thinking tat i gave up on my life. yea? no?! LOLZ.. fine~ ^^ anyway, started working already!!! so scared! people over there like kinda got mood swings. can't say anything much.. coz a lot of people got caught for saying their true hearts out. sigh~ so weird..

work's fine with me. been working for the past 1 month.. still no weekend off yet. dunno when is she gonna give me one. sigh~ =3 guess wat? i watched 'pirates of the carribean' already!! hahaha~ ^^ so happy!! it's a very nice movie. dun understand why the magazines rated it quite low. some even say tat the story is complicated? weird.. i find it so damn straight forward! must be the previewers watching nite shows. falling asleep.. lolz~!! >=)

anyway, i watched it alone. first time doing so. can't find anyone to go with me, so.. FUN!! quite exciting. like going for camp trip. lolz~ i sounded like a child.. =P hahah~ =D working really made me felt like no life.. especially you have to work on both sunday and saturday, and having rest days on mondays.. weird~ indeed!! >_<

may God carry me through this period of time! AMEN!

-ah_xun faced death at 10:24 AM